Time To Say Goodbye
by RosalindJones
Summary: "No! Let me back!" I thumped the place where the hole used to be, but it was no use. I had drunk the blood. The deed was done and now I couldn't return.  Can Alice find a way to return to Wonderland, or will she have to say goodbye forever?
1. Chapter 1

So this is my first Alice in Wonderland story. Please be kind

I have called it Wonderland instead of Underland on purpose, so don't flame me about that, but other than not owning any other character, happy reading…xxx

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I stared in amazement and grinned at Chessur who was hovering besides me.

"What is he doing?" I laughed.

"Futterwacken." He smirked.

I remembered a distant conversation Chessur and Tarrant had about the Futterwacken and Frabjous day. Tarrant had said he was rather good at it and even though I had no idea what the dance went like, I doubt Tarrant's version was anything but perfect.

I edged closer, dodging his limbs that were flying everywhere, enjoying myself as much as he seemed to be.

Abruptly the dance stopped and I only had a second to register the grin on his face before Tarrant grabbed me by the arms and pulled me against him, smashing his lips against my own.

I had been kissed before, but never like this. My eyes were wide with shock as his surprisingly soft lips moved almost desperately and through that connection, I could feel every emotion he put into it. His arms slid to my waist and pulled us more firmly together. We fit together like two pieces of a puzzle. He continued to kiss my lips and pull us closer, and then I was kissing him back. I felt his lips curve upwards when I finally responded. My eyes closed and I let myself be taken away in the moment. I felt content for the first since my father had passed and a longing to do whatever it took to stay with his man forever.

But I couldn't stay. I had obligations back home. A family who I couldn't just leave hanging. Staying would be one of the most selfish things I've ever done.

I sighed and gently pulled away. We were both breathing heavily. A smiled played upon the Hatters lips and his eyes were somewhere else. I heard a small sigh and turned to see Chessur comforting Mallymkun. Despite the rough relationship we had, I would still miss the little dormouse. I would miss everyone. They were like family to me.

The White Queen approached me, a vial of violent purple liquid in her hand.

"And blood of the jabberwocky. Alice, you have our everlasting gratitude. And for your efforts on our behalf."

She held out the little vial and I cautiously took it.

"Is this the way home?" I asked.

A part of me wanted the answer to be yes, but something else inside me _needed_ it to be no.

"Drink." Was all the queen said.

I briefly shut my eyes and prepared myself. My home waited for me. My mother, my sister. They needed me. _Wonderland needs you too_. A voice in my head whispered, but I quickly dismissed it.

I lifted the vial to my lips, popping open the lid and tipping it back. The liquid ran down the glass towards my open mouth…

"Don't."

I pulled the vial away quickly before the blood reached the end and whipped around to see the Hatter, a broken look on his face, his eyes begged me to stay.

"What?" I whispered.

"Stay with us." He said, the ghost of hope lingering on his features.

I gasped. I had dreamed of staying. But it was a mad, crazy idea and a dream is all it ever would be to me. I never imagined anyone would ask me to stay as a serious question.

I began shaking my head.

"I wish I could. But there are questions I have to answer. And things I'm late for doing."

I watched as Tarrant's face dropped. His bow tie once again fell loose and the buzz of electricity that always seemed to surround him disappeared. I tried to tell him I was sorry with my eyes, as I lifted the vial and tipped the liquid down my throat. I shuddered.

"You won't remember me." he said sadly

"I will!" I defended. If I went back home, the one thing I would make sure I took with me was the memory of wonderland.

Tarrant stepped forward and kiss me again. It wasn't as passionate as the first, it was gentle and full of love. Love. Before I had time to consider this idea, he whispered in my ear;

"Fairfarren, Alice."

"Fairfarren, Tarrant." I whispered automatically.

I looked at everyone's faces and raised my hand in a wave goodbye.

"Fairfarren all."

I looked back at Tarrant. Tears pricked in his eyes. My vision suddenly became blurred with tears as I noticed his hand was over his heart. He lifted his hand and blew on its flat palm. He was giving me his heart. He loved me. He loved me!

I raised my hand to catch his hand, a smile spreading across my lips. I leaned forward to grab his hand.

"I lo-"

I grasped and staggered forward. I quickly regained my balance and looked at my hand. Nothing was enclosed in my fist. Only air. I spread my fingers slowly, shaking as I turned my hand so I could see my empty palm. I shook my head.

"No."

I whirled around and took in where I was. I was back home. This wasn't happening. But it was. I could see the mansion and the party and the crowd of people still waiting for my return. Hadn't I wanted this? To return home to my family and friends? I thought back and remembered something I had said to myself about the inhabitants of wonderland. _They were like family to me_. I had just run away from my true family. From the man I was quickly realising I was in love with.

Tears began to escape from my eyes and I ran to the rabbit hole. There was no disruption amongst the greenery. No hole. It was almost as if it had never existed.

I collapsed to the ground and sobbed.

"No! Let me back! Tarrant!" I thumped the place where the hole used to be, but it was no use. I had drunk the blood. The deed was done and now I couldn't return.

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So, what do you think? All reviews appreciated.

xxx


	2. Chapter 2

I no longer wore the suit of armour, but my dress. I had slayed the…Jabberwocky and became the Red Queens champion, or was it the White Queen… I panicked. I could already feel the memories slipping away. But I couldn't forget. I promised…I promised Tarrant I wouldn't. The Mad Hatter. His face when I drank the blood. The vial. _The vial_!

I searched myself for the vial. I had to still have it. It had to be real. It wasn't a dream.

I found the cold glass metal topped container attached to a chain around my neck. I sighed and smiled. It _was_ real. _Remember it_. I repeated to myself over and over again.

I fell in love with wonderland. A place I could be myself. A place where everything was nonsense. Nothing there is what it is because everything is what it isn't. The norm is to be different. Nothing there is proper, who would be to say what is proper, no-one, because everything is mad. I'm mad. That's where I belong. In wonderland. With the mad hatter.

I looked down at the vial I was clutching in my fist. At a first it appeared empty, but as I looked closer, I noticed a think layer of liquid remained in the bottom. I gasped in delight. It might only be a few drops, but it was hopefully enough.

I looked back down to the party. I couldn't go without saying farewell. I had to tie up the loose ends in this life to start a new one.

I ran back to the gazebo, going through everything I was going to say. I had to control my tears when I thought of my mother. But she had Margret and she would know I was happy, or with father.

I emerged into the maze and slowed to a walk. I straightened my dress and smoothed my hair down as much as I could before stepping out and slowly approaching the gazebo under the gasps and murmurs of the watching crowd.

"Good lord, Alice. Are you alright?" Lord Ascot look bemused and a little angry, but I could see the twinkle of amusement in his eyes. Yes, my fathers company would be in good hands.

I simply smiled and turned to his son.

"Hamish, I'm sorry, I can't marry you. You're not the right man for me."

Tarrant's face flashed into my mind, smiling and I felt a boost of confidence in what I was doing when I turned to my sister.

"Margret, this is my life and I'm making the decisions from now on, but I want you to know I love you and you'll always be my sister." I hugged her. She looked taken back and her body was stiff, but she quickly returned the hug and whispered in my ear.

"No corset?"

"Never again." I whispered.

She studied me carefully.

" I don't know what you're going to do Alice, but look after yourself." She sighed. "I guess this is goodbye then."

I smiled weakly. She might like to wear a codfish a lot, but my sister was always in there, and she knew me better that almost anyone in this world.

I nodded and hugged her once more. "Goodbye." I whispered.

When I pulled back, I saw a tear escape her eye. "Goodbye."

I turned to her husband.

"You're lucky to have my sister for your wife Lowell. You better be good to her. I'll be watching."

He looked scared enough, so I moved on to Lady Ascot, summing up all the courage I had.

"I happen to love rabbits, especially white ones. This whole party was drivel and do you know what? I never really liked you anyway."

_How's that for muchness._ I turned my back on her sharply and strode to Lord Ascot.

"Take care of the company, won't you." He nodded his head, smiling. I was about to turn away when something came into my head.

"China." I said to him.

"Excuse me?"

"China. Why stop halfway when you can go the full mile?"

I turned at that and walked to my mother.

"What's going on Alice?" she asked, I could see she was worried.

I smiled sadly.

"I'm so sorry mother, but I have to do this." I took her hands. "I've never really fitted in here have I? But where I'm going I do. And I found someone, a man. An amazing, wonderful man. And I think I love him."

I saw my words register with my mother. She began to cry.

"You remind me so of your father." I smiled and let the tears fall freely. "So I know there's no stopping you now. You're already there. But Alice, can he support…"

She didn't finish, but I knew my mother. Even in a completely foreign place, she didn't want me to be with anyone who might drag my social status down.

I laughed. "Don't worry mother, he's employed at the royal court. He works for the queen, in fact, they're pretty good friends."

She visibly relaxed, but she tensed again.

"When are you leaving?"

"As soon as I've said goodbye."

"So soon? Can't you just wait…?"

She trailed off, knowing it was useless. Like she had said before, there was no stopping me now.

She pulled me into a hug and I felt her tears wet my cheeks. She stroked my matted hair and kissed my forehead.

"You take care of yourself won't you? And you'll visit?"

I felt my breath get stuck in my throat. I couldn't answer that. I couldn't promise her anything apart from that I'd love her forever.

"I love you so much and I'll miss you." I avoided her question.

She whimpered and pressed her gloved hand to her mouth.

I took the vial and shook it before flipping open the lid and putting it to my mouth. I looked at everyone's faces again, lingering on my mothers and sisters. Margret was crying, but she was nodding her head strongly. My mother had calmed down and I heard her whisper

"Oh, Charles."

Before I downed the remaining drops of blood and closed my eyes. It felt as though I was falling and being compressed at the same time. I squeezed myself into a ball and screwed up my eyes, wishing for the feeling to go away. I felt the air grow warm again before I smashed onto something cold, wet and hard and passed out cold.

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Don't forget to leave your comments!

xxx


	3. Chapter 3

I slowly opened my eyes and looked around. I was sprawled across the ground in a grim looking forest. My back was soaked and my front wasn't any better. It had been raining and the eerie branches of the trees gave little protection. The moon shone down, casting daunting shadows over wet earth.

I pushed myself into a sitting position, groaning in pain. My joints were sore. I wondered how long I'd been lying there.

I heard the snap of a twig breaking in two and got up quickly, ignoring the vertigo. My eyes scanned the area, trying to detect where the noise came from, but it was silent. Nothing stirred in the shrove. There were no hooting of owls, no scurry of creature under the mushrooms. Not even the purr of Chessur sitting on his high branch. It was too quiet.

I shivered. My cold, wet dress stuck to my body and the chill of the night's air raised goose bumps on my arms. I started into a run, looking for something familiar, but this place was nowhere I had ever been before. Was it Wonderland? Or just another part of England? I had no clue where I was or even which land I was in. It was impossible to get out of these blasted woods. _Only if you believe it is_. Tarrant's face appeared in my mind. He wouldn't want me to give up; I was doing this for him. I carried on running with a little bit more hope.

After my legs began to ache, I slowed down. I had been panicking I was running in circles after passing the same tree twice, I sat down and began to cry. It was impossible. As if to make matters worse, it began to rain again.

My hair hung limply around my face as I stared at the sodden earth. It was there I saw the first paw print. I leaned closer and saw a trail. There were other footprints too. All together.

_Could it be?_ I thought to myself.

I got up and followed the prints, running with a new determination. _If this is what I think it is, this should lead…_

I stopped dead in my tracks. A tear rolled down my cheek as I looked out at the destruction.

"Travelling by hat." I whispered to myself as the memory of Tarrant telling his dark story entered my mind.

I don't know if it was me being the right size this time or just being here alone, but the destroyed village looked much more sinister and heartbreaking that the last time I had seen it.

"Poor Tarrant."

I could practically hear my heart shattering as I looked upon the ruins of his home. All of his family, his friends. Gone.

"6 impossible things, Alice.

One, I'm back in Wonderland.

Two, I'm going to rebuild this village. I'll make it like it was before Horevendush Day."

I thought back to the look of despair on the hatters face when he had his flash back. He told me everything he remembered. The moment he picked up his smoking hat after rescuing the queen, that was the moment he lost his sanity and I would do my best to help him regain it. _I would do anything to make him happy again._

I strode through the wreckage, keeping my eyes down and stifled my tears. After I entered the woods once more I picked up my pace. I was so close to the tea party, to the windmill, to the Hatter.

The rain had stopped and the clouds began to clear, leaving the moon alone in the sky. Its light suddenly became brilliance, highlighting the magnificent edges of everything.

I ran a little further and spotted an opening ahead. I laughed and pushed myself.

"Tarrant! Tarrant!" I shouted and ran out of the forest.

I grinned a grin that would have made Chessur proud of me. The tea table was just how I had left it what seemed like an eternity ago, but in reality was barely a few days. The overgrown weeds and broken windmill dampened the feel I remembered from the first time I visited wonderland.

"Three, I'm going to tidy up this place."

I walked over to it and ran my hand over the edge of the table, all the way to Tarrant's chair. I stroked the soft material and glanced around before slipping into it. I could see why he could sit here for hours on end every day, it really was quite comfortable.

I looked around again.

"Tarrant? Mally? March?"

No one replied.

I slumped back into the chair and looked at the table. I smiled at the tea pot which I had been stuffed into in order to hide me from the Knave. I shivered. Ilosovic Stayne, the Knave of Hearts. He had been infatuated with me when I posed as Um from Umbridge. I was just glad he was banished with his Queen forever…

"Four, the Red Queen will never return."

The teapot had been filled again, probably by the March Hare. I poured myself a cup and lifted it to my lips. It was cold. I signed and put the cup down again, but kept my hands around it.

I sat, still and silent for a long time. The sky beginning to lighten made me alert once more. I shook my head and pushed my still wet hair out of my face. No-one was coming. I'd come back all this way and everybody had moved on. I felt alone. I stared blankly ahead. The whole scene seemed dim without anyone else. I suppressed another sigh.

"It's lonely, isn't it?"

My head shot up. He was standing there, at the edge of the trees, a sad smile upon his lips.

"Tarrant!" I shouted.

I jumped up from the chair and ran towards him as he started running too. We slammed into each other and I laughed and cried happy tears. I looked up at his face and smashed my lips onto his. One of his hands worked their way into my hair and with the other; he held the small of my back, pulling us closer. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him with as much passion as I could muster.

After exerting myself, I pulled away and grinned again.

"I love you! I love you and I'm never going to leave you again!" I practically shouted at him.

He caressed my cheek.

"That's good, because I don't think I could watch you disappear from my life again. and I love you too."

He leaned down and pressed his lips once again to mine.

Six impossible things;

One, I was back in wonderland and I was never leaving.

Two, I would rebuild an entire village to make Tarrant happy again.

Three, I would fill the tea table with joy, not madness. _Well, maybe a_ little _madness._

Four, the Red Queen would terrorise us no more.

I sighed internally and finally admitted to myself the last two impossible things:

Five, I was in love with a Mad Hatter.

But that was fine because thankfully;

Six, he was in love with me too.

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Hope this was what you expected.

I might write a sequel if I get enough positive feedback

I love Alice in Wonderland so much! Message me with any ideas you have.

xxx

3


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